Richard Wright

author of strange, dark fictions


My Fat Balls

April 24, 2017 by Richard Wright in Journal, Life

I think I can comfortably assert, without fear of contradiction or being called out as a braggart, that my fat balls are among the most popular in my neighbourhood.

There is a frenzy of excitement whenever I present them, and it doesn’t matter whether I pull out one, two, or even more.

How word spreads about my fat balls is beyond me, but I never have to let them hang for more than a few minutes before they’re vigorously descended on, sliced up, and devoured.

Even the little cage that goes around my fat balls doesn’t prevent them from being obliterated if I display them in the garden. That’s okay though. That’s what my fat balls are there for.

It’s strange, because during the winter my fat balls saw very little action. Now that spring has arrived they are in very great demand. Barely a day goes by but that I have to prep and present them.

That’s just how popular my fat balls are. I’ve never seen so many tits. Great tits. Blue tits. Big and small. All the tits.

All right, that’s enough of that. We’re all grown ups. Of course the birds are enjoying the balls of suet fat I leave for them. There’s no real call for this childishness. I apologise wholeheartedly. I will be a grown up now.

But that squirrel?

What can I say?

It just loves my nuts.

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