As I sit here in India, thinking of all the people and families all over the world who have come together on this day in worship and celebration of a victimised and tortured man rising from the grave, I think to myself…
What the hell is wrong with you people! Have you never seen a horror movie! THIS NEVER ENDS WELL!
Still, however you celebrate Walking Dead Day, I hope it is making you happy. I hope you’ve got crossbows and hatchets ready to go too, of course, but do take these final minutes to savour some happiness before all hell breaks loose and something bites your brain.
If you want to revel in the Easter spirit for a little longer, you should go and buy my novel The Flesh Market. Dead bodies come back from the grave in that too. It’s a sort of homage.
While others have been munching down on pagan representations of ancient gods and spirits, which is allowed by God because of reasons*, we’ve been going through all our stuff looking for things we can give to charity ahead of leaving India. There’s quite a lot more than I thought there would be. This is round one, and only really includes clothes (electronics, books, toys, DVDs, and kitchen stuff are all to follow).
We were a bit worried that, roomy though our new house in the UK is, it lacks dedicated storage. After today, we are less worried.
Four whole bags contain my collection of mankinis. Quite the sacrifice, but while they’re fine for prancing around in the tropics, they’re not going to feel nearly as comfortable and freeing in the chill winds of Glasgow**.
It feels good to have done a proper job to do with relocating. More to come, obviously, but at least it feels like we’ve started.
*Because chocolate is nice, probably. False idols are historically more palatable when actually palatable. I have often thought that Easter Sunday would be a very different holiday if children were told to devour little chocolate crucified men sculpted in righteous agonised detail.
**None of this is true. Honest.***
***No power on earth would make me sacrifice the mankinis.