Richard Wright

author of strange, dark fictions

Getting Fitter

The Bendy

The BendyYeah, I know. It’s awful when you start following along with entries on a blog, keeping up to date with emerging news, and then it all dries up. My bad. I teased you, and then went silent. I might have said nothing now had I not noticed that the top Google search term leading visitors to my website is ‘how much pain is richard wright in now’*.

Sadly, it’s bad news for back pain aficionados. I’m more or less mobile again, two months after first seizing up. That’s the good news. On the down side, my fitness has taken a massive plummet while I’ve recovered, and I’m absolutely terrified that it’s going to happen again.

Which is a bit unfortunate, because it’s almost certainly going to happen again. Doctors and physiotherapists concur that it’s the first in a likely series of unfortunate spinal events that I can expect if I don’t get proactive. I need to do things, probably forever.

Things like yoga and Pilates.

Merciful god. On the one hand, I scorn these things. On the other, I fear them. Were I bendy, I would probably not have a screwed up spine in the first place. I am the opposite of bendy. Being bendy has never been something I craved. It was not part of my life plan.

Now I must become bendy. I must become water. Or something similarly spiritual.

I mean, what’s it for? Bendiness? What do you do with it, when you’ve got it?

Still, I am now armed with books (my starting point for everything), and a couple of DVDs. I have no excuse not to make a tentative start (tentative because although I’m not now in pain, I don’t think I’m fully recovered either). The threat of my back going like that again is more than enough to drive me to extreme yogic measures.

I will report back. Bendily.

*A bald faced lie, although I’m constantly amazed at how much information the website returns. Your credit card details and shoe size are still tantalisingly out of my reach, but I can tell you how many times I’ve been visited by people in Abu Dhabi or Cancun, that my favourite real Google search term that has brought somebody here is ‘you’re an atheist damn your soul is this a curse’, and that there are a disconcerting number of people crawling the web for any mention of sarin gas.

Currently reading (novel): The Sunne in Splendour by Sharon Kay Penman

Currently reading (novel): Fear of the Dark by Trevor Baxendale

Currently reading (collection): The DIamond Lens and other stories, by Fitz-James O’Brien

Currently reading (anthology): The Weird: A Compendium of Strange and Dark Stores, edited by Anne and Jeff Vandermeer

Currently reading (non-fiction): The Anatomy Murders by Lisa Rosner

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3 Comments

  1. Jackie BlewettMay 29, 2013 at 1:32 am

    I think you’ll like being bendy. You can itch your back ALL OVER and reach things without getting off the sofa. Admittedly those activities may also unmake all the good work. I once met a man who was so bendy that he could do what dogs do. Could I note at this juncture that I find your term “spinal event” almost as unsettling, but not quite? xx

  2. Richard WrightMay 29, 2013 at 7:13 amAuthor

    Your second to last sentence here is a perfect thing. I think all our lives will be immeasurably improved if we all promise to insert this into an actual conversation with somebody at least once every day.

  3. Jackie BlewettMay 29, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    Please do let me know how you do with that. 😀

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