Richard Wright

author of strange, dark fictions


The Eye Division, Mr Spiggott.

January 16, 2008 by Richard Wright in Journal, Life

My left eye, he liked. It’s a lovely eye for the role. As soon as he saw it come in, he said, “Hello! What a lovely eye for the role!” He has nothing against my left eye. The trouble is, neither do I. In the eye division, I am deficient. On the plus side, I score over a man with no eyes at all. By one hundred percent…

Ahem. That’s enough of that.

The eye test is done, and very extensive it seemed too. My left eye is in good nick, while my right is less so. Apparently, it’s probably been that way for a while, with my brain compensating by relying on the left ey’s info to fill in the vagaries of the right, but as time goes by I’m likely to notice more. My jocular queries as to whether the NHS would remove the dodgy eye altogether, leaving me the option of a funky piratical eyepatch, raised nary a trace of a smile on the optician’s face, and so talk turned to spectacles. I’m to use them for screen work, reading, and the horribly vague ‘general use’. I bought two pairs of specs, both different, as I’ve no idea yet what I might suit. I’ll see what ‘takes’. Should have them no later than Tuesday.

Spectacles are probably a good thing, very writery, although they’re also an excellent excuse for a mid-life crisis. I shall grow my hair long, start wearing clenchingly tight trousers, and buy an inappropriately dangerous motorcycle without delay…

I know I included two non-existent words in that last paragraph. It’s part of the whole mid-life crisis thing. I just don’t care, me.

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